


Think Pink

by CommaSplice



Series: Kingspyre Apartments [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 22:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3995167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommaSplice/pseuds/CommaSplice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uncertain what to buy his wife for her name day, Roose Bolton seeks advice from the people closest to her with mixed results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Think Pink

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series, but it can be read on its own. And if you’re wondering how Brienne and Walda know each other, Roose and Walda live in the apartment above. Their friendship begins in [Rom-Com](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2048883).

* * *

Walda always said that her husband liked Amerei, but Amerei had never believed it until Roose Bolton showed up on her doorstep. “Absolutely!” she told him. “I would love to help you buy Walda a name day gift. Come in, come in.”

“I could return later if this is not a good time,” Roose said, not meeting her eyes, instead fixing them on a blank piece of wall to the right of her head.

“Of course it’s a good time,” Amerei said, furrowing her brow as she turned around to see what was so fascinating about her apartment wall.

“I appear to have awakened you,” he said in strangled tones. 

Amerei glanced down and giggled. “Oh.” She closed her robe. “Don’t worry about that. We’re family.” 

Inexplicably, this did not reassure her brother-in-law. Which puzzled Amerei to no end. From everything Walda said, her husband was very uninhibited in the sack.

“And you are . . . entertaining.”

She saw where he was now staring. “Lyle, baby. Wake up.” When that didn’t work, she raised her voice. “LYLE!” 

Lyle, poor baby, was exhausted, but eventually was roused to consciousness, persuaded to find his clothes, dress, and go upon his way. All the while, her brother-in-law’s features seemed to be turning to granite. Several times he tried to leave, but Amerei forestalled him. She pushed him into a chair, being careful to grab the panties Lyle had taken off of her last night before Roose sat down. 

“I have lots of ideas!” She dug out her tablet from underneath a pile of laundry on the sofa and navigated to the webpage she’d bookmarked earlier for personal use. “Here.”

“I was considering a central vacuum—” His words fell away as she handed him the tablet.

She sat down opposite him, being careful to keep her robe closed. “The octopus vibe is totally Walda, but the reviews are terrible. I personally think you can’t go wrong with the Hitachi. Just make sure you get the one that plugs into the outlet. I don’t care if it overloads the circuits—it’s worth it and I know Walda will agree.” 

Roose wasn’t saying anything. 

Not for the first time, Amerei wondered if Walda had been exaggerating about her husband’s sexual prowess just the tiniest bit. The last time she’d seen a man that red in the face had been Lancel on their wedding night and just look how that had turned out.

* * *

Brienne had been reluctant to let Roose Bolton into her apartment, particularly after he made a point of making sure she was alone. The slightly wild look in his eyes was the only thing that had made her change her mind. He seemed more lost than threatening.

“I’ve just been to my sister-in-law, but—” he broke off with a shudder.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what could disturb Roose Bolton so profoundly.

“I would welcome your advice.”

Brienne was truthful. “Mr. Bolton, if you don’t know what to get your wife for her name day, I’m not sure I can—”

“--Walda considers you to be one of her closest friends,” Mr. Bolton informed her. 

“I’m honored,” Brienne managed. “But—” Roose Bolton looked grim, but then he always did, at least whenever she’d caught glimpses of him in the past. “Didn’t she make any suggestions?”

“I’ve tried asking, but she says that takes the romance out of it.”

Brienne supposed she and Walda were friends, but it wasn’t the sort of relationship that involved shopping and in any case, they were radically different in personality. Brienne thought a bit. “She likes rom-coms. The old ones especially. Movie tickets? I think there’s a revival house in town that has a series where they show them. Someone told me they’re going to be playing _The Awful Truth_ in a few weeks.”

From the way Mr. Bolton sighed, it was clear this was not a shared passion, but Brienne noted that he wrote it down. 

“What else?”

“Dinner at a good restaurant before the movie?” And then Brienne had an idea. “What about one of Walda’s other friends? She’s mentioned a Bethany before. I think they get together a couple of times a month. Perhaps she might have a suggestion. Do you know her?”

If Roose Bolton had been unenthused at the notion of having to see _The Awful Truth_ or _Theodora Goes Wild_ , he seemed positively horrified now.

* * *

Bethany set the glass of water before her ex-husband, seated herself, and waited to find out what had brought him here.

“I had no idea you’d moved to the Riverlands,” Roose said.

There was no reason to have informed him, but she made no answer.

“Nor that you and Walda knew each other.”

Bethany shrugged. “I didn’t know she was your wife at first. She had no idea who I was either.” She took a sip of her tea. “Is that why you’re here, Roose? Because your ex-wife and I meet once a month for lunch?”

“Yes.” Roose opened his satchel.

She waited for him to follow up the single syllable with one of his trademark sinister smirks accompanied by a veiled threat and a scalpel. Let him, Bethany thought. She still had a plethora of materials in safe custody that would be brought to the attention of the appropriate authorities should anything untoward happen to her. 

But then to her surprise, he produced not a knife or a pistol, but an assortment of catalogs and expressed a desire for her assistance in purchasing a name day gift for his current wife. 

“Roose, this is bizarre.”

“So is your being friends with Walda.” He pushed a catalog over to her. “What about a central vacuuming system?” 

Bethany nearly choked on her tea. 

Roose frowned. “Too extravagant?”

“And you wonder why we got divorced.” Bethany tapped her fingers against the kitchen table. Despite everything, she did like Walda and she could only imagine what Roose would give the girl if left to his own devices. She was unsurprised when his next idea was a vintage .38. “No.” 

He sighed. 

“Unless you can find one in pink.”

“Next you’ll be telling me to buy her a sex toy,” he muttered.

Bethany gave him a very long look. “Roose, the best part about being divorced from you is that I don’t have occasion to ask what you could possibly mean when you say things like that. No, don’t tell me. I like Walda. She’s a sweet girl. I have no idea what she’s doing with you, but that’s not my problem. Besides,” she said with a smirk, “I’ve already bought her a name day present.”

* * *

The pile of presents on the kitchen table surprised Walda.

She had been dreading the whole thing really. For over a month he’d been asking her for suggestions, observing her reactions every time a commercial came on TV, or clearly counting the seconds she examined the ads in her magazines to gauge her interest. 

Walda would have given it up and told him, if it had not been for her deep-seated conviction that Roose should just know what she liked. But as the days and weeks had passed and as he had grown more determined and strangely desperate, she had decided it would be best not to expect more than a bouquet of pink peonies, a box of chocolates, and perhaps a brooch or some earrings.

But no, here was a pile of presents, most of them professionally wrapped. 

“I could not bring myself to buy you an octopus-shaped vibrator.”

Walda paused in the act of unwrapping the requisite box of candy and blinked several times.

“But if it would make you happy, I will give you the money and you can purchase it yourself. Or perhaps your sister—”

Sometimes Roose said things Walda didn’t quite understand and knew she didn't want to, but this made absolutely no sense. 

“Oh, you got my favorite truffles,” she exclaimed in an effort to divert him. He _was_ under a lot of pressure these days, poor thing. She reached for the next item on the pile. This turned out to be a thin box that contained season passes for the Gods Eye Cinema's revival series of romantic comedies. Walda looked up. “—You don’t like those movies.”

“But you do,” he said simply.

Walda stared at the passes, then into his grey eyes. “Oh, Roose,” she said putting her plump hand on top of his for a moment.

He cleared his throat and nodded at the rest of her gifts. 

Another slim package contained a necklace. An envelope held a voucher for the advanced cake decorating class she wanted to take. And then there was one box left. This Roose must have wrapped himself. Walda tugged at the paper and opened the box. 

“It’s pink,” she said, lacking any other cogent thought.

“That,” Roose told her with quiet satisfaction, “is the Charter Arms Pink Lady .38.”

Walda loved all things pink, but never had she considered, let alone dreamed of owning a firearm, even if it was in her favorite hue. 

“The reviews were very good. Surprisingly good,” Roose commented. “I made sure to test one out before I purchased that for you. I thought we could go out to the range together and I would teach you to shoot.”

She stared at the gun and then at Roose. 

The silence grew between them.

Roose’s face fell. “Would you—don’t you—I _knew_ I should have gotten you the central vacuum—” He rubbed the back of his neck. And then sounding like a soldier marching into the jaws of death for his king and country, he sighed. “Or I can buy you the octopus-shaped sex toy.”

Sooner or later she was going to need to ask where in the seven hells he had gotten the notion that she wanted or needed a vibrator (especially since she already had a perfectly good Hitachi Magic Wand), but today was not the day. “No. I love the gun,” Walda said very firmly. “It’s perfect.”

“Are you certain?”

If Roose was willing to sit through ten weeks of screwball comedies with her simply because she loved them, Walda thought she could learn to love her pink pistol. “Yes.”

Roose relaxed so palpably that then Walda knew just how much of an effort her poor sweetling had put into this. “And now comes the best part,” she said as she moved his hand onto her thigh.

“Oh?”

“I get to show you just how thankful I am.”

* * *

Afterward, as Walda snuggled up against him, Roose knew contentment. The ordeal of trying to find her things she would enjoy was over. She had liked her gifts. He could endure a few hours in a cinema for a few weeks if it meant keeping his little wife happy. And he had very much enjoyed this morning’s lovemaking.

“See, was that so difficult?” Walda asked. “You didn’t need suggestions after all—so don’t you go asking for any for our anniversary.”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> My usual thanks go out to the awesome [Vana](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Vana/pseuds/Vana) always willing to beta read at a moment’s notice and always willing to provide encouragement and/or hand holding. 
> 
> I did not make up the octopus vibe. It is actually kind of cute, but as Ami says, [the reviews](http://www.amazon.com/Bushman-Products-Screaming-Vibrator-Octopus/dp/B000RO42GC) are terrible. 
> 
> And believe it or not you _can_ purchase [a pink .38](http://www.gunsandammo.com/reviews/charter-pink-lady-review/) (who knew?)


End file.
